Take A Little Ride With Me, Girl
by jcott3
Summary: After a personal appearance, The Miz and Jillian go to the fair.
1. Chapter 1

**TAKE A LITTLE RIDE WITH ME, GIRL**

(a/n: This is my first attempt at an "outside the arena" fic. Reviews are always welcomed but don't be too harsh.)

Plane, airport, rental car, hotel, arena, hotel, rental car, airport and repeat.

That's the life of a WWE superstar on the road. It's not as glamorous as most people think it is. Jillian Hall knew that well. The great part of being a WWE superstar was getting to travel to all kinds of places she might never see otherwise. The downside was the constant travel between shows. _"Good thing for those frequent flyer miles and preferred customer bonuses"_, Jillian thought to herself as she signed the paperwork for her rental car. She'd done this so many times the she didn't even have to read the fine print before she signed it. But this time, something unusual happened.

"Jillian?" someone asked. Jillian turned around when she heard her name called, and of all people, Mike "The Miz" Mizanin was standing there. "Oh, hi, Mike", she said as the two gave each other a friendly one-armed hug. The two usually didn't travel in the same circles and didn't normally hang out with each other, but both being on the Raw roster, they couldn't help but know each other.

"So what brings you all the way out here?", Mike asked.

"They have me doing a personal appearance at a Best Buy", she told him.

"Which one?" he asked.

"Middletown" she answered.

"No way. They have me going there, too", Mike answered, then said "I'm staying at the Sheraton. What about you?"

"Same here", Jillian told him. "Small world, isn't it?"

"Jillian, I have a proposition for you", Mike said.

"I'm not that kind of a girl!" Jillian half-said, half-yelled at Mike.

"Not THAT kind of propostion, Jillian. Hear me out. Since we're going to the same places anyway, and you already have your rental car, I'll make you a deal: we ride together and I'll pay for dinner later on. What do you say?" Mike asked and gave a little shrug and a smile to Jillian.

"Okay, but it has to be a _real_ dinner, not McDonald's", Jillian told him.

"No problem. We'll go to Burger King instead", Mike said and tried to keep a straight face as he watched for Jillian's response. Jillian just said "I hope you're kidding, unless you want to walk." Mike answered, "Just kidding, Jillian. I am The Miz, and am not a cheap date."

"Okay, Mike, they're bringing it around. Let's go", Jillian told him and picked up her bag.

"Are you sure this is they we're supposed to go?" Jillian asked. They had been driving for an hour and had been on smaller two-lane roads for the last 20 minutes.

"Absolutely", Mike told her as he looked at his iPhone, using its GPS app to navigate them. "We're only a few miles away. A few more turns and we're there."

Jillian stopped the car at a red light. Looking around the intersection, she and Mike saw there was a racetrack next to them, and in the parking lot, there was a carnival set up. Mike looked at a sign posted across the street and read it out loud: "Lions Club Strawberry Fair. Damn, strawberries must be a big deal around here. Look at the size of the setup they've got. Look - two ferris wheels, no waiting." Mike waited for a laugh from Jillian, but didn't get one. As the light changed color and Jillian resumed driving, Mike asked, "Hey, after the signing, you wanna go check it out?"

"You're trying to get out of buying me a nice dinner, aren't you?" Jillian accused.

"No, Jillian, I'm not. Make a left here. It's just that our appearance is 3 to 6, right? So what are we going to do afterwards? I don't think this town is going to have too many nightspots, and I'd like to believe you want to do something more than go back to the hotel and do your toenails."

Jillian pondered it for a minute, then said, "Sure. I haven't been to the fair since I was a teenager. Who knows, maybe it'll even be fun.", then gave Mike a little smirk.

"What's that supposed to mean, Jilly-bean?" Mike asked. "Make a right at the light."

"I was just joking around with you, Mike. You take things too seriously." Jillian told him.

"I resent that. I am the Miz, and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII have a great sense of humor, I'll have you know. And right there, across the street, voila! Middletown Best Buy."

"Okay, Mike. You were right" Jillian acknowledged.

"Thank you. Now just take the two jughandles coming up and we're there." Mike told Jillian. He then made a few presses on his iPhone and asked, "So where do you wanna eat afterwards? There's Friday's, Chili's, Applebee's, Olive Garden, Ruby Tuesday ..."

"Let's worry about it after we're done" Jillian said as she turned into the Best Buy parking lot. "Okay Mike, we're here. Got your crowd face with you?"

Mike answered "Right here" as he put his hand in his pocket, pulled it out again and used his thumb and index finger to push a big smile onto his face. He then put his hand back in his pocket and said "If you want, I've got a spare" and pulled his hand out again and offered it to her.

Jillian parked the car behind the Best Buy and said, "No thanks, I've got my own. Besides, my delicate little face couldn't handle your big mouth" Jillian grabbed her purse, Mike grabbed his travel bag containing his US title belt and Money In The Bank briefcase and the two left the car to go inside.


	2. Chapter 2

After their in-store appearance, Mike and Jillian went to their hotel. They checked in, changed their clothes and went to TGI Friday's for dinner. Afterwards, they made the drive over to the fairground.

"I can't believe you flunked out on Hey Ya", Mike told her.

"It's a great song, but it's hard to sing right. It's not in my range", Jillian protested.

"Jillian, you flunked out on Easy, only 37 percent of the way through", Mike pointed out.

"You don't have to remind me, Mike"

"You're right, I don't", Mike said. He took his iPhone out of his pocket and said, "I have the picture right here. This will look great on the WWE website" as brought up a picture of Jillian standing next to the video screen, showing she did indeed flunk out on SingStar Karaoke, trying to sing Hey Ya by Outkast, only 37 percent of the way through. In the picture, Jillian gave a shrug and a smile that said, "_Well, I tried_."

Jillian glared at Mike and asked, "Need I remind you about that kid who whooped your butt on Smackdown vs. Raw?"

Mike defended himself, saying "Hey, he was playing as me. How was I going to beat him? After all, I am the Miz, and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ..."

"... got owned by a 12-year old", Jillian finished. "Here we are. Three bucks, Mike."

"What for?"

"Parking. Don't you see the sign there?" Jillian asked and pointed ahead of them.

"Okay", Mike said and dug into his pocket. He took out three singles and handed them to Jillian as they approached the entrance. Jillian rolled down her window and handed the money to the attendant. He took the money and said, "Thank you. Have a good evening", then motioned them to move forward into the parking area.

Once they found a space, Jillian grabbed her purse and the two superstars got out of the car. "Remember where we parked", she said to Mike as she closed her door.

"No need. There's an app for that", Mike said as he held up his iPhone, made a few scrolls and presses, then put it away in his pocket.

They walked through the parking lot and into the main grounds of the fair. Once inside, they took a minute to look around and take in the size of it. There were lots of rides, games, and other attractions to choose from. They first went to the ticket booth, conveniently located right by the entrance, and Mike bought a supply of ride tickets. Mike then asked, "Okay, Jilly-Bean. Where shall we begeen?", and smiled at his invented rhyme. Jillian gave a small chuckle and said, "Might as well start right here", pointing to the nearby Tilt-A-Whirl ride.

The line wasn't too long, so Jillian and Mike got in line. One of the ride attendants had a portable iPod stereo playing music. Jillian recognized the song playing instantly as We Be Burnin' by Sean Paul. "Oh, I love Sean Paul", Jillian cried out and began to open her mouth to sing along. Thinking fast, Mike said, "Hey, Jillian. Wanna dance?" To him, anything was better than having to listen to more of her 'singing'. He understood it was part of her character, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Jillian accepted with a "Sure" and two began moving their bodies to the music. The time passed quickly and in what seemed like no time at all, the ride had stopped and it was time to rotate in the next group of riders. The people behind Mike and Jillian tapped them on the shoulder to get them to move forward. They were a little embarrassed about holding up the line, but moved forward into the ride area and climbed into one of the cars.

Mike and Jillian brought their lap bar down and waited for the attendants to make sure everybody was ready and all safety features were engaged, then the ride started. As the ride slowly began, Mike said, "This shouldn't be too bad." Once the ride got up to full speed and they were spinning in chaotic unpredictability, Jillian threw her arms up and yelled "Woooooooooooo!" Mike held onto the lap bar and yelled "Aaaaaauuuuuughhh!"

"Woooooooooo!"

"Aaaaaaaaauugghh!"

"Wooooooooooo!"

"Aaaaaaauuuugghh!"

After a few minutes, the ride began to wind down and stop.

"That was a fun way to start", Jillian said as she stood up to disembark.

"Definitely", Mike agreed.

Jillian asked, "Mike, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Jilly-Bean."

"Why are your knuckles so white?", she asked with a little smirk. "Were you afraid, Mike?"

"I was not", Mike defended. "I am the Miz, and IIIIIIIIIIIII ammmmmmmm ..."

"... just a great big fraidy cat", Jillian finished and the two left the ride.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jillian, I told you I was NOT AFRAID!", Mike insisted.

"Then why is your hair standing straight up?" Jillian asked pointedly. "You combed out all that gel you had in there earlier, so it couldn't be that."

"Could we change the subject, please?" Mike asked.

Jillian said, "Sure. What should we do next? Should we try something safer, like maybe the kiddie train?" She was enjoying busting his chops.

"Will you knock it off?" Mike asked with a bit of frustration in his voice.

"I'm just playing with you, Mike", Jillian told him. "Your secret's safe with me", and patted his arm in reassurance.

Mike and Jillian made their way around the fair, pondering what to do next. Inspiration hit when they found the bumper cars in front of them. "Shall we?" Mike asked, and Jillian told him, "Okay."

They made their way up to the line for the ride. It was short, and the current crop were almost finished. About 30 seconds later, the overhead lights on the ride came on, the power to the bumper cars stopped and the riders prepared to exit. Mike and Jillian, along with the rest of the new group of drivers, paid their ride tickets and went to find a car to their liking. Mike and Jillian climbed into one car and put on their seat belts. Mike took the wheel in his hands and waited for the ride to begin.

Once the ride attendants made sure everyone was secure, it began. The overhead lights on the ride turned off and colored lights swirled off a mirror ball, and the power came on for the bumper cars. Mike pushed down the accelerator and they began. Just before they would have hit someone, Mike went into a sharp turn and drove in a tight circle.

"Mike, what are you doing? I'm getting dizzy."

"Relax, Jillian. Leave the driving to me."

Mike got out of the turn and pointed the car straight ahead at another car and, in a raspy almost-evil voice, said "Ever play chicken?"

"Huh?" Jillian asked.

As they bumped into another car, Mike put the car in reverse and started going backwards, but didn't look behind him to see where he was going.

"Mike, watch what you're doing!" Jillian yelled.

"I am. See?" Mike said as he pointed to their reflection in the chrome panels that went around the whole area. Mike bumped into a number of cars, then put it back in forward. He set his sights on some other cars on the opposite side of the area. As they got momentum, Mike threw his hands up and yelled "AAAUUGGHHH!" Jillian did the same, but without the smile Mike had on his face. Jillian tried to take the wheel, but Mike held her hands down. After they bumped into another car, Mike took the wheel again, and aimed for the wall. "Ramming speed!" he yelled as they crashed into the wall and bounced off. Mike put it in reverse again and hit some cars coming behind them.

The cars all stopped and the overhead lights came on again. Their time was up. Mike asked, "Is it over already? I was just getting warmed up."

As they got out of the car, Jillian began yelling at Mike. "You're a maniac! You're nuts! You're crazy! What were you trying to do, get us killed?" Mike smirked at her and asked saracsatically, "What's wrong, Jillian? Were you scared?" She was about to yell "YES!" when she realized the point of the display he had just made and exhaled, saying, "Touche, Mike. Point taken. I'm sorry I accused you of being scared on the Tilt-A-Whirl."

Mike smirked again and said, "Apology accepted, Jillian. It takes a strong person to admit it when they're wrong, but I am the Miz, and IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMMMMMMMMM not the type of person to hold a grudge."

The two walked past some other rides and some of the food concessionaires. Mike said, "It never ceases to amaze me all the different kinds of food they serve at these. You name any great-tasting food with no nutritional value whatsoever and here it is."

Jillian told him, "Mike, the fair is supposed to be fun. Protein shakes and veggie burgers aren't fun. Soda, popcorn and hot dogs are." She noticed one particular concession and asked, "Now why would somebody do something like that?"

"Like what?" Mike asked back.

"Like THAT!", Jillian said as she pointed ahead of them at a booth selling Deep Fried Oreos, 5 for $4. "Why would someone ruin a perfectly good Oreo by deep-frying it? How are you supposed to dunk it in the milk with all that fried coating on it?"

"Bigger question: how do you twist it apart to lick the cream filling if it's been deep fried?" Mike asked, then followed up with a "Shall we find out what the hype is all about?" "Let's", she answered and they approached the booth.

Mike ordered one serving of Oreos and paid for them. The girl behind the counter handed them a paper plate with five freshly deep-fried Oreos, sprinkled with powdered sugar. Jillian took one off the plate and bit into it. "Warm, and surprisingly chewy", she said, giving her critique.

Mike took one off the plate, bit into it and said, "Not bad. Actually, it tastes pretty good. You can still taste the chocolate in it."

They finished the Oreos in their mouths, then they each took another off the plate Mike held. When they finished those, Jillian eyed the last one on the plate and asked, "You gonna have that last Oreo?"

Mike said, "We'll split it", and put it into his teeth, holding it halfway out of his mouth, then leaned down so that his mouth was in line with Jillian's. "In your dreams, pretty boy", she told him as she reached up, broke off half of the cookie, popped it in her mouth and gave a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Mike and Jillian walked over to some of the game booths. All kinds of games of chance where people could try their luck and win a prize were there. Ring tosses, ball tosses, mini-bowling, spin-the-wheel games, froggy splash, target shooting, - you name it, it was probably there. The pair stopped at the Water Gun Fun booth. Mike asked, "Shall we give it a go?" Jillian answered, "Sure", and they waited for the current race to finish. Once it had finished and the winner was declared, Mike and Jillian sat down at two of the guns and waited for the game to reset. Mike paid the attendant for him and Jillian. Some newcomers sat down, some stayed from the previous race. The attendant collected everyone's money, made sure there was no one else joining in, then announced it was time to begin.

Water Gun Fun operates like this: each contestant sits and fires a water gun at a target with a hole in the middle. The more water that goes into the hole, the faster a pole rose up from the game. When someone's pole reaches a certain height, that person is declared the winner. Mike and Jillian, as well as the other contestants, readied themselves and fired as soon as the attendant announced "GO!" and the upbeat background music came on. Mike got out to an early lead and was well on his way to winning when, near the end, Jillian pushed his gun off-target, costing him the game.

"What did you do that for?" Mike asked, trying not to yell at her.

Jillian pointed to the winner and said, "That's why." The winner was a 10-year old boy who enthusiastically celebrated with his father. "I saw how crushed he was when he lost the last game. Besides, winning here will mean a lot more to him than it does to you. Care to try again?"

Mike replied, "No, Jillian. I think we should try something else, something more … one-on-one." Mike looked around and said, "Something like that." They stood up, and she followed as he led to where he wanted to go: the basketball toss. As they got nearer, the attendant called out, "Step right up. Care to try and win a prize for the little lady?"

Mike looked around and asked jokingly, "What little lady?" Jillian smacked him in the shoulder and said, "He means ME, silly." Mike looked her right in the eye and said, "You're not exactly 'little', my dear", looking down at Jillian's breasts. "I may not be so little, but I know you are", Jillian replied and pointed down at Mike's crotch. Mike told her, "Not cool, Jillian. Not cool at all."

The attendant loudly cleared his throat and said, "Care to try your luck? Three balls for three dollars. Sink one and win a prize. Sink all three and you get to pick one from the top shelf."

Mike said, "You're on", and paid the attendant. The attendant handed Mike three mini-basketballs and motioned towards the basket at the back of the booth. Mike quickly sank all the balls with very little effort. The attendant pointed to the top shelf prizes and asked, "Okay, what will it be?"

Mike turned to Jillian and said, "It's your choice". She looked over the stuffed animals available for prizes and selected a large stuffed whale. The attendant took it down and handed it to her saying, "There you go, my dear."

As they walked away from the booth, Mike asked, "Why did you pick that as opposed to any of the others?" Jillian asked back, "Is there something wrong with it?" Mike answered, "No, just making conversation. You just strike me as more the teddy bear type, that's all."

She said, "Well, if you really must know, when I was little, my family went to Sea World and my parents got me a stuffed whale that I used to call 'Whaley'. I slept with it for years and I was crushed when my mom gave it away. Now I've got a new one. Thanks, Mike." She finished by leaning her head against his shoulder. Mike put his arm around her and said, "You're welcome, Jilly-Bean."

"Mike, can we go on one of the ferris wheels next?", Jillian asked.

"No problem. Ferris wheel it is", Mike said and they headed off.

The two got in line for the ferris wheel, but it was a long line and they knew it might take a while before they got their turn on the ride. As they waited, Mike asked, "Permission to speak freely? Normally I don't like talking shop away from the arenas, but can I be very honest with you?"

Jillian told him, "Sure, Mike. Go ahead."

Mike said, "You repeat this to anyone and I'll deny it, but I think the Divas division is getting royally fucked over. They reward the ones who just look good and can't wrestle, but the ones who can work don't get squat. I mean, look at you. You're one of the best female wrestlers in the company, but nobody knows it because all most fans see is a comedy character. Gail and Nattie are fantastic in the ring, too, but neither of them has had anything in a long time. And who gets put on TV instead? The Bella Twins and The Beautiful People 2.0."

"Not so loud, Mike", Jillian told him with a laugh in her voice, putting her finger up to her lips. "You don't want Mark to find out you're talking about his woman and her BFF, 'The English Muffin', but thanks for what you said about me. I didn't know you noticed. And if it means anything, I think it's totally unfair what people say about you."

"What's that?" he asked.

She told him with a slight tinge of regret, "That you stink in the ring and that Bryan should have been training you on NXT, not the other way around. I know you've worked hard to show you're not just some guy with a big mouth who rode John's coattails."

"That's the price of success, I guess. People always want to knock you down", Mike pondered out loud. "Look at John Cena. He's the top guy in the company, and fans keep complaining that he only knows five moves. But getting back to Bryan. He's a really nice guy and if I had had my way, I would have been tag-teaming with him, not feuding with him. Our strengths would cover each other's weaknesses. Nothing against Alex Riley, but I think Bryan and I would have been great together, especially since the tag-team division has been dead ever since me and John got split up." Then he noticed the line moving and said, "Let's move along, Jillian. The ferris wheel awaits".


	5. Chapter 5

Mike and Jillian made their way up the platform and into the car of the ferris wheel. Mike let her get in first, then climbed in himself. Jillian sat down inside and put 'Whaley' on the seat between the two of them. Once the attendants made everything was okay, they started the ride up. As the ferris wheel turned, Mike and Jillian marveled at the view as they went around and around.

"Look at all those people down there in line", Jillian said. "I've always wondered how such a simple ride like this always manages to attract so many people."

Mike answered, "Well, it's one of those rides that isn't too extreme for little kids, and with the right person, it can be kind of romantic."

"I would have never had you pegged as someone who thinks about what's romantic, Mike."

Semi-offended, he asked, "And why is that, Jillian? Hmmm?"

"Nothing, you just don't seem like that type, that's all", Jillian told him.

"I'll have you know there's a lot more to me than meets the eye, Jilly-Bean."

With that, the ferris wheel started to slow down so the attendants could rotate new riders on. Mike and Jillian's car was near the top of the wheel as Mike started singing a song, mostly to himself:

_It's just the danger, danger_

_When you're riding at your own risk_

_She said 'You are a perfect stranger'_

_She said 'Baby, let's keep it like this'_

"Mike, did you say something?" Jillian asked.

He told her, "Nothing. Just a song I was thinking about, that's all."

"Oh. Which one?"

"It's called 'Tunnel Of Love'"

Jillian's eyes lit up as she said, "Oh, I LOVE that song" and with that, she began to speak/sing:

_Fat man sitting on a little stool_

_Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you_

_Hands me two tickets, smiles and whispers 'good luck'_

_Cuddle up angel, cuddle up my little dove_

_We'll ride down baby, into this tunnel of love_

Mike rolled his eyes and said, "That's not how it goes, Jillian."

She insisted, "Yes, it does."

He told her, "No, it doesn't. It goes like this", then proceeded to sing:

_And the big wheel turning, neon burning up above_

_And I'm so high on this world_

_Come on, take a little ride with me, girl_

_On the tunnel of love_

_Yeah love, love_

Jillian said, "That's not how the song goes."

Mike told her, "Yes it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Jillian, I don't want to argue with you, so let's just drop it. Okay?"

"Okay, Mike. Let's not argue, even though you're wrong", she said with a little smirk.

By this time, the attendants had finished rotating passengers and returned the ride to full speed. With that, Mike took out his iPhone and punched up the camera option. He held it out in front of him with one hand while he put his other arm around Jillian and told her to "Smile". She smiled and held 'Whaley' up. Mike pressed the button and took two pictures. He looked at them, then showed them to Jillian.

"Which one do you like better?" he asked.

"Oh, that one", she told him, pointing to the second picture. She noticed Mike playing with his phone and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Just updating my Twitter", he told her.

"You're tweeting here? Now?" she asked, with a twinge of anger in her voice.

"Sure. I can tweet from anywhere, anytime with this. Besides, Vince said he wants us to use these social networking sites as much as possible", Mike answered

with a grin, trying not to laugh.

"Mike, your focus right now should be on ME, not that!", Jillian said, pointing to herself, then to the iPhone.

Mike got the message and told her, "Okay, Jillian. I promise: no more tweeting while we're here. Scout's honor.", then raised his hand in a three-fingered salute to her.

Jillian smiled and said, "Okay, Mike." Then she noticed the ferris wheel slowing down again and said, "Uh-oh. Looks like the ride's almost over."

"Well, everything has to end sometime, even when you're enjoying yourself", Mike said as the ferris wheel stopped for them to get off.

_(A/N: As you could probably guess, Mike and Jillian are talking about two different songs with the same title 'Tunnel Of Love'. Mike is thinking of Dire Straits and Jillian is thinking of Bruce Springsteen. Both are good songs. Feel free to check them out. And now you also know where the title of the story comes from.)_


	6. Chapter 6

After their ride on the ferris wheel finished, Mike asked Jillian, "What shall we do next?"

Jillian looked around and wondered, "What's that down there?"

Mike answered, "Only one way to find out", and the two headed for the southern part of the fairgrounds, where there were a number of trailers set up, as well as some fenced-off areas. As they got closer, they discovered what it was.

"Oh my god, they have a mobile zoo here!", Mike said in astonishment.

"And look", Jillian chimed in, "they even have a petting zoo, too."

They headed for the petting zoo area first. Some coin-op vending machines were set up to dispense feed for the animals. Mike dug into his pocket for some change and came up with some quarters for the machine. He gave one to Jillian and said, "There you go." Jillian handed 'Whaley' to Mike, put the quarter in the machine, turned the handle and held her hand out as the feed came out. They walked over to the pen of baby goats and Jillian leaned over, held her hand out and let the goats eat. She laughed as they fed.

"What's so funny, Jillian?" Mike asked.

"Nothing, it just tickles", she answered and continued laughing. Mike took his iPhone out and got a picture of Jillian as she fed the goats.

"Okay, I'll give it a try", Mike said and got some feed for himself. He gave his iPhone to Jillian so she could get a picture, then leaned over the pen and stuck his hand out for the goats to feed. As she took a picture, Mike told Jillian with a smile, "You're right, it does tickle." No sooner did she snap the picture then Mike yelled "Owwwwwwwww!", and held his finger in his hand.

"Mike, what's wrong?" she asked with concern.

"That goat bit me!" he half-yelled-half growled.

"Hold on, let me look at it", Jillian said as she took Mike's hand and looked his finger over. "No blood, no sign of swelling, ..."

Angry, he glared at the goats and said, "I oughta ..."

"Mike, he's just a little bitty baby billy goat. If he bit you, he didn't mean to." With that, Jillian kissed Mike's finger and said, "There. That'll make it all better."

"Thank you, Doctor Jillian", Mike said sarcastically. He looked over at the next pen at the kangaroos and his smile returned.

"Oh, my god, look at that. The baby just climbed into the pouch."

Mike got his iPhone back from Jillian and snapped a picture as the baby kangaroo finished climbing into its mother's pouch and poked its head out.

"That's so cute", Mike said.

"Even better, it put the smile back on your face, where it belongs", Jillian added.

They looked at the kangaroos a little longer, then they looked at the ostriches in the next pen and finally, they went over to where the trailers were. The trailers served as mobile cages for some of the more wild animals. Those had glass windows so people could see the animals, and were set up inside to be similar to the animals' more native surroundings. Signs in front of the trailers warned visitors not to use flash photography as it might startle the animals.

"Look at those funny-looking monkeys there", Jillian remarked about the animals in front of them.

"Jillian, those aren't monkeys. The monkeys are over there", Mike informed her and pointed to the next trailer. He continued, "_Those_ are lemurs. They are native only to the island of Madagascar. They have flexible toes and fingers, as well as long noses and long tails. They vary in color from reddish brown to gray, and can vary in size from 1 ounce to 15 pounds. They an important role in the ecology of Madagascar by dispersing seeds from the fruit they eat."

Jillian gave him a look and asked, "Do you have an app for that, too?"

Mike answered, "No, Jilly-Bean. I was just reading the sign right there in front of you."

Jillian looked in front of her at the sign and said, "So they are."

Mike and Jillian moved down and looked at the monkeys as they swung from branch to branch in their trailer.

"Look at them. The way they're flying around it's like watching Rey Misterio", Jillian remarked.

"I was actually thinking Evan Bourne, but if you say Misterio, so be it", Mike said.

Mike and Jillian continued making their way around the trailers, looking at the animals. Near the end of the zoo area, they stopped at one animal in particular.

Jillian asked, "Mike, if that black panther escaped, would you fight it off to save me?"

Mike looked her right in the eye and answered, "Are you kidding? I'd throw you at it so I could escape."

"Mike! Surely you're not that mean!" Jillian chimed in.

Mike just smiled and said, "Jillian, I'm just playing with you, and don't call me 'Shirley'."

Both of them laughed as they moved on from the zoo area.


	7. Chapter 7

Jillian asked "Okay, what's our next move?"

Mike told her, "Well, you made it very clear you didn't like my driving on the bumper cars, true?"

Jillian answered, "Let's just say it's a good thing I'm the one driving us back to the hotel."

Mike then asked, "Care to go double or nothing on the bumper boats?", and pointed at the enormous above-ground pool ahead of them.

Jillian told him, "I say prepare to get owned, Mike."

The two made their way to the line at the entry way for the bumper boats. Once it was their turn for the ride, Mike gave the attendant their tickets to get in. The same attendant said to Jillian, "If you want, you can leave your bag over there, ma'am", and motioned her towards a wooden rack of cubby holes situated right between the entry and exit gates. Jillian took her purse off her shoulder, put it to one of the cubby holes and put 'Whaley' on top to guard it. She then joined Mike as they climbed up the stairs and onto the walkway going around the pool. Other attendants helped riders onto and off of their bumper boats so they wouldn't fall into the pool. Mike climbed into one and Jillian climbed into another just up the way from him.

Attendants checked to make sure everyone was situated and their boats worked OK. Once all the riders for this round were ready to go, a traffic light turned green to signal that it was time to begin.

Mike yelled, "You can't beat me! I am the Miz, a IIIIIIIIIIIII AMMMMMMMMM …" and never got to complete his sentence as he got hit right in the face with a stream of water from the water gun on the front of Jillian's boat. She completed his thought for him by shouting, "… All Wet!" and with that, Jillian bumped her boat into Mike's, sending him into a spin.

"You'll pay for that, Jillian!" Mike called out as he tried stop the spin and turn himself forward, but before he could, he got another stream of water right in his ear.

"There's your receipt!" Jillian told him and bumped him again.

"Charge!" Mike yelled out and aimed his boat at Jillian's. When he got closer, he was able to fire his water gun and hit Jillian in the eye, startling her just long enough to move in and bump her.

"There's your change!", he told her.

The two continued their sea battle - until another boater shot Jillian with his water gun and his friend bumped her from behind, almost causing her to fall off her boat. Mike was not very amused.

"You can't do that to my Jilly-Bean! Only I can do that to her!" he yelled to them. Jillian called out to him and yelled, "Let's get 'em, Mike!"

"With pleasure", he said, then pointed at their two new enemies and yelled, "ATTACK!" Mike and Jillian went to work with a two-pronged attack at the two others. Jillian fired her water gun to cover him as Mike drove in and bumped one of them into the other at just the right angle to cause them to go into a spin. Mike followed up with some shots from his water gun before going for the next attack. Jillian closed in and helped Mike finish them off with some more bumps as both guys raised their hands in surrender after having been bested by the two superstars.

With that, the traffic light turned red, signaling the end of their time. They had been so engrossed in their fun they didn't even notice when the traffic light turned yellow at the "one minute to go" mark. Both of them headed for the side of the pool and climbed off of their boats. Mike and Jillian graciously shook hands with their recent enemies, who congratulated our heroes on getting the better of them. As they made their way down the stairs, both Mike and Jillian were laughing over the fun they had just had. Jillian retrieved her purse and 'Whaley' from their cubby and asked, "Can you imagine Maryse and Ted doing something like that?"

Mike continued laughing and replied ,"Absolutely not", and Jillian laughed right along with him as he put his arm around her and they walked through the exit gate of the area.


	8. Chapter 8

After they left the bumper boats area, Mike said to Jillian, "We're both a little soaked after that. What do you say we take a load off and dry off a little?" Jillian agreed and said, "I know what you mean."

The two headed back to the main part of the fairgrounds. Near the center was a large tent open on the sides. Inside, there was food concessions being prepared and sold in the back area. There were tables and chairs set up where people were eating or just sitting and listening to the Elivs impersonator and his band performing on the stage in the front of the tent.

Mike and Jillian went into the tent, and went straight to the back to check out what was being offered in the way of food they could snack on while they dried off. Once they decided on what they wanted, they stepped up to the counter. The lady behind the counter asked "What can I get for you?" with a pleasant smile on her face.

Mike asked, "Can we get a large order of butterfly fries and two Diet Cokes, please?"

The lady told him "We just put in a new batch. It'll be about 3 or 4 minutes. Is that OK?"

Mike told her, "No problem" and paid for the order. Jillian commented, "Think of it this way: when they come up, the fries will be just like you, Mike."

"Hot?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

"No. Fresh." she deadpanned, looking him right in the eye with a smirk of her own.

Mike looked back at the seating area and said, "There's no need for both of us to stand here and wait. Find us a seat and I'll bring them when they're ready." Jillian said "Sure" and went on her appointed mission. The seating area was only half full, so space wasn't a problem. She walked around the seating area and found a spot where they could see and hear Elvis perform, but still be able to talk easily, without shouting at each other.

Jillian took her purse off her shoulder and hung it on the back of a chair before sitting down in it. She put 'Whaley' down on the table, then turned herself so she could watch and listen to Elvis as he and his band were playing CC Rider. She bopped in her seat in time to the music as they played. When they segued into All Shook Up, Jillian picked up 'Whaley' and began dancing in her chair with him as her partner. She was having a really good time until she heard a familiar voice say, "Now twirl him in the air over your head and slide him between your legs. I saw it in a movie once. Trust me, it works." Jillian turned red in embarrassment when she looked up and saw Mike standing there with their food in hand.

Mike chuckled and asked, "Having fun, Jilly-Bean?" as he sat down across from her, placing the butterfly fries on the table between them and then putting down the two cups of Diet Coke. Jillian put 'Whaley' back down on the table, then took a butterfly fry loaded with ketchup and popped it in her mouth. No sooner did she begin to chew when she realized just how piping hot the fresh fries were. Even worse, she also realized that the "ketchup" on the fries wasn't ketchup at all. It was much, much hotter.

"HOTTTTTT!" was all Jillian could say as she reached for one of the Diet Cokes to put out the fire in her mouth. Mike snatched both of them away and held them out of arm's reach of her as he calmly said, "Now, Jillian, if you hadn't been so hasty, I would have told you that they were out of ketchup and I put barbecue sauce on them." Jillian half-reached for the drinks, half-fanned her mouth as she yelled "HOT! HOT!" as best she could with her mouth on fire. Having had his fun, Mike handed her a Diet Coke and Jillian took a big sip into her mouth to cool it off.

"That was mean, Mike", Jillian told him when she regained feeling in her mouth.

He responded, saying, "Hey, I would have told you if you had given me a chance. It's your own fault.", concluding with a smile.

They ate and drank as they watched Elvis perform. Mike commented, "This guy's pretty good. He's got the voice, he's got the moves, and he does it without coming off as a parody. Just one question I have: is he the Fat Elvis, or the Really Fat Elvis?"

"Huh?", Jillian asked.

"Well, way back when, you may remember that Adam and Jay were once a really great tag team, and they were hilarious together. They used to do this schtick called a 5-Second Pose, where they'd do some funny skit that insulted the town they were in. When they were in Memphis, both of them came out dressed as Elvis - Vegas era, jumpsuit, pompadour wig, overweight, kind of like this guy - and claimed that Elvis had two distinct looks - the Fat Elvis, and the Really Fat Elvis."

"Oh, I must have missed that one", Jillian replied.

"Well, you missed a good one because it was great", Mike told her and took another butterfly fry.

Elvis finished the current song he was doing, The Wonder Of You, and paused to chat with the audience a little. "As you can see, the Ultra Slim-Fast Diet worked for me" he said as he motioned towards his belly. The audience laughed at the joke. Elvis continued, saying "For this next song, I'm going to need some help from a lady in the audience." He looked around the audience, then pointed at Jillian and said, "You, darlin'. Could you come up here, please?"

Jillian pointed at herself and mouthed, "Me?" Elvis answered, "Yes, you, my dear." Jillian waved her hands, saying "No thanks", but Mike pointed at the stage and told her "Jillian - Go!" With that, she stood up and went to the stage. The stage was only a foot off the ground and Elvis gave her a hand to help her up and on.

"What's your name, darlin'?" Elvis asked her. She sheepishly answered, "Jillian". "Well, Jillian, all you have to do is just sit right here", Elvis said as he led her to a chair front and center onstage. Jillian sat down as told, Elvis counted off the band and they began to play. During the intro, Elvis took a knee beside Jillian, and then he began to sing:

_Are you lonesome tonight_

_Do you miss me tonight_

_Are you sorry we drifted apart_

_Does your memory strain to the brightest summer day_

_when I kissed you and called you 'sweetheart'_

Elvis stood up as he continued singing:

_Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare_

_Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there_

_Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again_

_My dear, are you lonesome tonight_

Elvis removed his silk scarf from around his neck and blindfolded Jillian with it as he began the spoken portion of the song:

_I wonder if you're lonesome tonight_

_You know, someone said the world's a stage and each must play a part_

_Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweetheart_

_Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance_

_You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue_

_Then came act two _

_You seemed to change, you acted strange_

_And why I'll never know_

_Honey, you lied when you said you loved me_

_and I had no cause to doubt you_

_But I'd rather go on hearing your lies_

_Than to go on on living without you_

_Now the stage is bare, and I'm standing there_

_with emptiness all around_

_And if you won't come back to me_

_then make them bring the curtain down_

Elvis held the scarf over Jillian's eyes and took a knee again as he sang the final lines:

_Is your heart filled with pain_

_Shall I come back again_

_Tell me, darling_

_Are you lonesome tonight_

The audience applauded and Elvis stood up and said to Jillian over the mic, "With your eyes closed, it sounds just like the real thing, doesn't it?" Jillian stood up and gave Elvis a kiss on the cheek. They then began speaking into each other's ears. Mike wondered to himself, _"What are they talking about?"_ Elvis turned to his backing band, said a few words and they began vamping as he prepared to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, normally the King works solo, but we got something special for you tonight. Jillian here says she's a singer ..."

_"No, Jillian, don't"_, Mike thought, _"Not here, not now. I know Vince says we should 'live our gimmicks' but this isn't the time or the place for it!"_

"... so she and I are going to do this next one together. Scotty, you mind if Jillian here uses your mic?" The guitar player shook his head "No" and kept playing as Jillian took a place behind the microphone. Elvis started the song off for them:

(A/N: Elvis' parts are in _italics_, Jillian's are in _**boldface italics**_.)

_When it comes to twistin' _

_I just gotta keep insistin', oh baby_

_You sure do swing_

Jillian moved her mouth to the microphone for her first part of the song. Mike closed his eyes, bracing himself for the cat strangling sound that was Jillian's usual singing voice;

_**When it comes to twistin' **_

_**I just gotta keep insistin' oh daddy**_

_**Hey, you are the king**_

Mike opened his eyes. The "shrill songstress" that WWE fans had come to laugh at on a regular basis was nowhere to be found. In fact, Jillian was actually pretty good doing this song. Elvis moved a little closer to Jillian for his next part:

_Baby you got me beat up and down_

_Inside out and across, oh yeah_

Jillian moved a little closer to Elvis. She left the mic in the stand, but kept her right hand on it:

_**But in the middle of the night**_

_**when the moon is shining bright**_

_**Ah, you're the boss**_

Jillian finished that section by pressing her finger on Elvis' belly button and giving him a sultry smile, then continued with her next part:

_**Hey, talkin' about dancin' **_

_**and down home romancin', big daddy**_

_**Hey, you make the scene**_

_Hey, talkin' about dancin'_

_and down home romancin', oh baby_

_You are the queen_

_**Oh, when push comes to shove**_

_**When it comes down to love**_

_**you're a hoss, oh yeah**_

_But in the middle of the night_

_when the moon is shining bright_

_Baby, you're the boss_

Elvis and Jillian were now very close together. He put his left hand on top of Jillian's right, the hand she had on her microphone. The two continued using only Jillian's mic:

_You're the best of everything_

_**You're a peach**__, you're a plum_

_**You're a diamond**__, you're a pearl_

_**You're the best of everything**_

_**Oh, daddy, you're my man**_

_Baby, you're my girl_

Elvis put his other hand on Jillian's waist just above her hip as he continued his next part:

_Now when it comes to knowin'_

_which way the wind is blowin'_

_now baby, you sure are wise, yeah_

Jillian put her left hand around Elvis and pulled him even closer as her turn to sing came again:

_**When it comes to knowin'**_

_**which way the wind is blowin'**_

_**Oh, daddy, you take the prize**_

_Baby, you're a genius_

_when it comes to cookin' up _

_some chili sauce, oh yeah_

_**But in the middle of the night**_

_**when the moon is shining bright**_

_**You're the boss**_

_You're the boss_

_You're the boss_

_You're the boss_

Elvis and Jillian sang the last chorus together:

_But in the middle of the night_

_when the moon is shining bright_

_Ah, you're the boss_

_You're the boss_

_You're the boss_

_You're the boss_

When they had finished their song together, the entire audience was applauding, but no one applauded longer or cheered louder than Mike Mizanin. Jillian thanked Elvis for letting her duet with him. They kissed each other on the cheek and Jillian left the stage. Elvis and his band went into their next song as she made her way back to her seat. Once Mike was able to pick his jaw up from off the ground, he had only one thing to ask Jillian: "Why don't you ever sing like THAT at our shows?"

Jillian popped a butterfly fry in her mouth and said, "That song was easy to do. Elvis and Ann Margaret did it for Viva Las Vegas. She's not a singer, so they had to take that into consideration when they wrote it. In the end, they cut it from the movie because the powers that be thought it was too risque, even for Elvis. But to answer your question, I sing like I do at the WWE live shows because Stephanie thinks its 'entertaining'", making quote marks in the air with her fingers, then reaching for another butterfly fry.


	9. Chapter 9

When they were just about finished with their butterfly fries, Mike looked at his watch and said, "Jeez, look at the time. It's getting late. I know you have an early flight in the morning and I wanna get a workout in before we leave." He showed his watchface to Jillian and she agreed, saying, "Yeah. I guess we better head back to the hotel." Once they finished their snack, Mike gathered up their trash to throw out and Jillian collected her purse and 'Whaley'. As they left the tent, Jillian waved good-bye to Elvis. He gave her a point with his finger without missing a step in his performance.

Jillian and Mike headed back to the car and she drove them back to their hotel. As they walked across the parking lot to the front door, Mike told Jillian, "You know something? I really enjoyed today." Jillian said, "I'm glad to hear that, Mike. Maybe we can do it again some time." Mike said, "Yeah. I really enjoyed having a chauffeur on this trip.", concluding with a smirk. As they neared the front door, Mike opened it and held for Jillian and asked, "What do you say, Jilly-Bean?", then he began to sing:

_Baby you can drive my car_

_Yes I am a real big star_

_Baby you can drive my car_

Jillian jammed Mike in the stomach with her elbow and sang the last line:

_And maybe I'll love you_

Once inside the hotel lobby, they sang the bridge section to each other:

_Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah!_

_Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah!_

Neither one of them cared about the strange looks they got from the people in the lobby as they made their way to the elevators. Jillian pressed the "up" button and the door immediately opened for them to go in. Once inside the elevator, Jillian pressed the button for her room on the fifth floor. It didn't take long and they were at her floor, and both of them got off.

"Mike, I thought your room was on the seventh floor", Jillian asked.

"It is", he told her. "I just wanted to make sure you made it to your room okay. A lot can happen between there and the elevator."

When they arrived at her door, Jillian fished her keycard out of her purse and opened the door. She then tossed 'Whaley' in onto the bed, then turned back towards Mike.

"Mike, I want you to know that I had a really good time with you tonight. You were a almost-perfect gentleman."

"Only almost-perfect?" Mike asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jillian answered, "If you had been perfect, you wouldn't have tried to get us killed on the bumper cars and you wouldn't have held my Diet Coke away from me when my mouth was on fire, not to mention not telling me you put _barbecue sauce_ on the fries when I was expecting ketchup."

Mike shrugged and said, "Well, nobody's perfect, but I'm not the jerk I I play on TV in real life. I try to treat women with the respect they deserve. Besides, you had the car keys. If I tried anything, I'd be walking to the airport tomorrow morning", then smiled at Jillian.

"Anyway, I really enjoyed our time together tonight", Jillian said and offered her hand to him. Mike looked down at it with disappointement and said, "Jillian, I'd like to believe you had more fun than _that_." She said, "You're right. I did", and with that, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Mike then looked at Jillian and asked, "You want to know how much fun _I_ had tonight?" She gave him a look that said, _"Okay, I'll bite. How much fun did you have?"_

Mike leaned in, put his left hand on Jillian's shoulder and his right index finger under her chin. He leaned his head in towards her cheek and she turned her head slightly to meet him. At the last instant, he moved her head with his finger, moved his right arm around her body and kissed her on the lips. Jillian tried to push him away - for about five seconds. After that, she wrapped her arms around him, took in the kiss and gave it back with equal vigor.

After about thirty seconds, they broke the liplock, both looking flushed. Jillian said, "You are the Miz, and you really are awesome, Mike." He responded, saying "True, but you're Jillian Hall, and whether it's the middle of the night, or the sun is shining bright, you're the boss." She chuckled and said, "Thanks, Mike. I'll see you in the morning", then went into her room and closed the door. Mike headed back towards the elevator and sang softly to himself as he went:

_Girls they look so pretty to me, like it always did_

_Like the Spanish City to me, when we were kids_

_Girls they look so pretty to me, like it always did_

_Like the Spanish City to me, when we ... were ... kids_


End file.
